Natural 20

If I ran a game store I would play the song Natural 20 by Efenwealt Wystle.

We've all been in that situation where the odds are stacked against us. The target number is either impossibly high or the dice modifiers are deep into the negatives. Often enough you need to make the roll to even survive the encounter. Yeah, it's like that. There's only one number that'll save you now: natural twenty. That's this song. It's an ode to that one face on the icosahedron that allows you to do as you please and it's the one face that the DM cannot thwart.

Natural 20 was written by Scott Vaughan who recorded the first version under his band name, The Blibbering Humdingers. It was released as a single in 2011 with the title Natural 20. Next, the song was released on The Blibbering Humdingers' 2012 album, Free Awkward Hugs, with the title Natural 20 (album remix). Then in 2014, Mikey Mason (a personal friend of Scott) recorded a much heavier version of the song on his album, dodecahedron. A month later Efenwealt Wystle released the album Holding On with a new version of the song, titled Natural 20 (living room version). Other than Mikey Mason's version, the differences between the versions are minor - the most notable difference is the prose portion of the songs. I like the living room version because it sounds like it was recorded in the Vaughan living room, which to me is a reminder that the hobby game industry was (and in many ways still is) a cottage industry started in basements, living rooms, and garages. If I ran a game store I would play the Efenwealt Wystle "living room version", although I enjoy all the versions I have heard.



Natural 20 lyrics

We were surrounded by an army of undead
Our cleric down to minus five
A rabid hobgoblin gnawed off the fighter's hand
But we knew with luck that we would survive

Natural twenty
I can move mountains
I can swim across the sea
In full armor
And fight off a horde of zombies

Natural twenty
I can slay dragons
With a short sword and a sling

Natural twenty
You're all I need

A portal opened and unleashed the fiends of hell
A balrog looking mighty pissed
We tried to banish him but couldn't work the spell
We'll have to fight, I hope we don't miss

Natural twenty
I can move mountains
I can swim across the sea
In full armor
And fight off a horde of zombies

Natural twenty
I can slay dragons
With a short sword and a sling

Natural twenty
You're all I need

And after the battle we went to the inn to relax a while
We spent all our treasure on gambling and women and booze
My dwarf made a pass at the barmaid, we think that she might have smiled
But the halfling had too much to drink and threw up on my shoes

But, uh, but really, I am going to try to ask out the barmaid.
Really? Okay, uh, what's your charisma bonus?
Um, I don't, I don't really have a charisma bonus. I mean, uh, that's pretty much a throw away stat unless you're a, uh, you know, like a bard or a sorcerer or a paladin or something. Uh, who would put points in that?
Um, fine, you can make your roll but you're at a minus two because of the halfling vomit.
Alright, here goes... sweet

Natural twenty
I can be charming
I can get my drinks for free
I wink at wenches
And pick up a barmaid or three

Natural twenty
Take down beholders
With a toothpick and some string

Natural twenty
You're all I need

Natural twenty
I can move mountains
I can swim across the sea
In full armor
And fight off a horde of zombies

Natural twenty
I can slay dragons
With a short sword and a sling

Natural twenty
You're all I need