If I ran a game store I would play the song Kobolds Ate My Baby by Mikey Mason.
If I ran a game store I would play the game Kobolds Ate My Baby by 9th Level Games. When I write about songs here at X Marks the Beat, I tend to imagine what sort of gamer the performer is. Some don't game at all and some have campaigned, but when there's a song about a game as off-beat as KAMB then I assume that's a hardcore gamer. According to the album's liner notes, Mikey started gaming with the red box D&D and used his current gaming group for background vocals on this song, so yeah.
The song Kobolds Ate My Baby is in every way about the game Kobolds Ate My Baby. It uses details from the game to really punch up the lyrics for fans. The song wants to be a hard rock song, but the humor keeps the tone from achieving "hard" and instead it parodies the style - which is also addressed in the liner notes as being one of Mikey's goals.* Kobolds Ate My Baby is from Mikey Mason's 2011 album, Impotent Nerd Rage.
* "And thank you Spinal Tap (Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, and Harry Shearer) for teaching me that it's possible to parody a genre without parodying a specific song, but still create credible, viable music. I hope I was able to do that on this album." - from Impotent Nerd Rage
Kobolds Ate My Baby on Google Play
Kobolds Ate My Baby lyrics
Grab a poker, stoke the fire, get the water nice and hot
Cut the onions, the potatoes, throw them all into the pot
But it seems like something's missing in this bubbling vat of gravy
From the village square a woman screams, “Kobolds ate my baby”
Kobolds ate my baby, for Torg
All hail King Torg
Kobolds ate my baby, for Torg
All hail King Torg
Bar all the windows and lock all the doors, 'cause kobolds are hunting tonight
They want a sweet little human treat and a baby will do just right
In honor of Vor, the Big Angry Red God, their ruler has declared a feast
Of succulent pastries and dainty delights and exotic delicacies - that means babies
Kobolds ate my baby, for Torg
All hail King Torg
Kobolds ate my baby, for Torg
All hail King Torg
Kobolds ate my baby, for Torg
All hail King Torg
Kobolds ate my baby, for Torg
All hail King Torg
They're short and they're hairy and so full of teeth, their mouth takes up most of their head
Stupid and hungry and tasty as well, most of them soon end up dead
But quicker than tribbles or rabbits can mate, they repopulate with ease
And so to avoid being thrown in the pot they gear up and hunt babies - catch that baby
Kobolds ate my baby, for Torg
All hail King Torg
Kobolds ate my baby, for Torg
All hail King Torg
Kobolds eat a bunch of different things, disgusting and delicious
They don't care if it is fattening or cardboard or nutritious
But they'll pass up almost anything to grab a little baby
And the reason they like babies best is babies is so tasty
Kobolds ate my baby, for Torg
All hail King Torg
Kobolds ate my baby, for Torg
All hail King Torg
Kobolds ate my baby, for Torg
All hail King Torg
Kobolds ate my baby, for Torg
All hail King Torg
For Torg
All hail King Torg
For Torg
All hail King Torg
For Torg
All hail King Torg
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