Don't Go Drinking with Hobbits

If I ran a game store I would play the song Don't Go Drinking with Hobbits by Marc Gunn.

Of all the races in Middle Earth which one holds their liquor the best? It's a well known fact that man is the lightest of the lightweights when you compare the races. Marc Gunn reminds us what a bad idea it is for us humans to share pints with the halfling people in Don't Go Drinking with Hobbits. In his customary fashion, Marc plays the autoharp while melodically singing his poetry so the song sounds like something you'd hear at a Ren Faire. That's a selling point, though, because this song is of a jovial night in a Hobbiton watering hole and Ren Faire music is what you expect is played there.

Don't Go Drinking with Hobbits was inspired by real life events. As the story goes, Marc was at a 2004 convention and went drinking with the people behind a hobbit fan fiction website and he was left in a horrible booze haze for the rest of the con. He posted the lyrics for the song on his blog in 2007 and released the recorded song on his 2008 album, What Color is Your Dragon?. He later released the song on The FuMP and on his 2011 album, titled Don't Go Drinking with Hobbits.

Don't Go Drinking with Hobbits on Google Play

307 Ale

If I ran a game store I would play the song 307 Ale by Tom Smith.

Someday man will venture into the vastness of outer space and visit foreign planets, mingle with alien races, and consume extra-terrestrial booze. Tom Smith puts forward the opinion that even when those days are at hand, the finest intoxicant will still be a terrestrial sort, created in a lab, using means that are still beyond us in the modern day. 307 Ale is a rollicking, banjo-led drinking song based upon a fictional spirit of the same name. It folds in science and science fiction, creating the illusion that the song is inspired by a great work of science fiction literature. In fact, the song was inspired by a Michigan license plate reading "307 ALE", though the tesseract in the song is inspired by Robert A. Heinlein's short story "--And He Built a Crooked House--". 307 Ale is sung by Tom Smith with a band of carousers joining him for the chorus and as background voices cracking wise. The song is upbeat, with a tempo that slows for emphasis but never drags. 307 Ale is both the "finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale" and the finest of all geeky drinking songs.

307 Ale was released on Tom Smith's 2001 album, Who Let Him in Here? There are many live versions available for download from Tom's Bandcamp page and to watch on YouTube. If I ran a game store I would play the 2001 album version.

307 Ale on Bandcamp