I Had a Shoggoth

If I ran a game store I would play I Had a Shoggoth by Tom Smith.

If you've never heard of a shoggoth then make your way to the Horror / H.P. Lovecraft section of your game store and dig around in the Call of Cthulhu RPG books*. Better yet, get a Keeper (game master) to run you through a few CoC RPG scenarios and then you'll really be on board with I Had a Shoggoth.

I Had a Shoggoth is a parody of the traditional children's song I Had a Cat. It's a filk song performed by Tom with only a banjo and his voice. The song is of the repeating-and-building-chorus type, with each repeat of the chorus adding in some new being from literature, TV, or movies. The jokes change as the song progresses. For this reason, Tom Smith himself prefers people to listen to the song before reading the lyrics.

There are two versions of the song available, with the dialogue from the characters being what varies. The first release of the song was on The FuMP in April 2008, followed by release on their album, The FuMP Volume 8. Tom Smith released a 2009 album, titled More Than FuMP: Songs of The FuMP, Vol. 2, that contains the second version of the song. Tom Smith performs live at conventions all across the country and he's recorded and released albums from many of his shows. There are many live versions of I Had a Shoggoth available on his "live shows" page as well.

If I ran a game store I would play the version from The Fump.

I Had a Shoggoth (version 1) on the FuMP

I Had a Shoggoth (version 2) on Bandcamp

* Or get yourself a copy of the H.P. Lovecraft's short story, The Call of Cthulhu.

I Had a Shoggoth lyrics

I had a shoggoth, he pleased me
But drove me to insanity
Shoggoth went [tekeli-li]

I had a minion, he pleased me
Got victims for my laboratory
Minion went, "Yes, Master"
Shoggoth went [tekeli-li]

I had a zombie, he pleased me
With his decaying anatomy
Zombie went, "Brains"
Minion went, "Yes, Master"
Shoggoth went [tekeli-li]

I had a werewolf, he pleased me
Devoured every cat he'd see
Werewolf went [howl]
Zombie went, "Brains"
Minion went, "Yes, Master"
Shoggoth went [tekeli-li]

I had a mummy, he pleased me
And taught me Egyptology
Mummy went [rrr]
Werewolf went [oww]
Zombie went, "Brains"
Minion went, "Abby Somebody"
Shoggoth went [tekeli-li]

I had a hunchback, he pleased me
Got Esmerelda sanctuary
Hunchback went, "The bells"
Mummy went, [rrr]
Werewolf went [(panting) huh huh huh huh huh]
Zombie went, "Brains"
Minion went, "Yes, Master"
Shoggoth went [tekeli-li]

I had a vampire, he pleased me
But at my parties he wouldn't drink tea
Vampire went, "Good evening"
Hunchback went, "The bells"
Mummy went, [rrr] "donuts"
Werewolf went [howw]
Zombie went, "Brains"
Minion went, "It's still warm"
Shoggoth went [tekeli-li]

I had an Old One, he pleased me
In R'lyeh sunk beneath the sea
Cthulhu went [bluh luh luh luh luh]
Vampire went, "Good evening"
Hunchback went, "The bells"
Mummy went [rrr]
Werewolf went [ruff ruff]
Zombie went, "Brains"
Minion went, "Yes, Master"
Shoggoth went [tekeli-li]

I had a Cylon, he pleased me
But then he turned into a she
Cylon went, "By your command"
Cthulhu went [bluh luh luh luh luh]
Vampire went, "Children of the night, shut up"
"The bells"
Mummy went [rrr]
Werewolf went [howl]
Zombie went, "Cheetos"
Minion went, "Yes, Master"
Shoggoth went [tekeli-li]

I had a Dalek, he pleased me
But stairs would make him really cranky
Dalek went, "Exterminate"
Cylon went, "By your command"
Cthulhu went [bluh luh luh luh luh]
Vampire went, "Good evening"
Hunchback went, "The bells"
Mummy went [ngh]
Werewolf went, "Here kitty, kitty"
Zombie went, "Brains"
Minion went, "Not the red one"
Shoggoth went [tekeli-li]

I had a Sith Lord, he pleased me
But I hated his prequel trilogy
Vader went [(breathing) khrr-hohh]
Dalek went, "Exterminate"
Cylon went, "I feel pretty"
Cthulhu went [bluh luh luh luh luh]
Vampire went, "Good evening"
Hunchback went, "Can you hear me now?"
Mummy went [rrr]
Werewolf went [howw]
Zombie went, "Brains"
Minion went, "Yes, Master"
Shoggoth went [tekeli-li]

I had a Dark Lord, he pleased me
But he couldn't beat Harry and Hermione
Riddle went, "Avada Kedavra"
Vader went, "I have you now"
Dalek went, "It is not a toilet plunger"
Cylon went, "Does this make me look fat?"
Cthulhu went [ptoo], "Calamari"
Vampire went, "Twelve beautiful verses"
Hunchback went, "Out there"
Mummy went, "Mm, chocolate"
Werewolf went [howw]
Zombie went, "Not eat eyes"
Minion went, "What hump?"
Shoggoth went [tekeli-li]

I had Galactus, he pleased me
But he ate my planet casually
Galactus went [chomp]