If I ran a game store I would play the song Don't Go Drinking with Hobbits by Marc Gunn.
Of all the races in Middle Earth which one holds their liquor the best? It's a well known fact that man is the lightest of the lightweights when you compare the races. Marc Gunn reminds us what a bad idea it is for us humans to share pints with the halfling people in Don't Go Drinking with Hobbits. In his customary fashion, Marc plays the autoharp while melodically singing his poetry so the song sounds like something you'd hear at a Ren Faire. That's a selling point, though, because this song is of a jovial night in a Hobbiton watering hole and Ren Faire music is what you expect is played there.
Don't Go Drinking with Hobbits was inspired by real life events. As the story goes, Marc was at a 2004 convention and went drinking with the people behind a hobbit fan fiction website and he was left in a horrible booze haze for the rest of the con. He posted the lyrics for the song on his blog in 2007 and released the recorded song on his 2008 album, What Color is Your Dragon?. He later released the song on The FuMP and on his 2011 album, titled Don't Go Drinking with Hobbits.
Don't Go Drinking with Hobbits on Google Play
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Monday, December 29, 2014
307 Ale
If I ran a game store I would play the song 307 Ale by Tom Smith.
Someday man will venture into the vastness of outer space and visit foreign planets, mingle with alien races, and consume extra-terrestrial booze. Tom Smith puts forward the opinion that even when those days are at hand, the finest intoxicant will still be a terrestrial sort, created in a lab, using means that are still beyond us in the modern day. 307 Ale is a rollicking, banjo-led drinking song based upon a fictional spirit of the same name. It folds in science and science fiction, creating the illusion that the song is inspired by a great work of science fiction literature. In fact, the song was inspired by a Michigan license plate reading "307 ALE", though the tesseract in the song is inspired by Robert A. Heinlein's short story "--And He Built a Crooked House--". 307 Ale is sung by Tom Smith with a band of carousers joining him for the chorus and as background voices cracking wise. The song is upbeat, with a tempo that slows for emphasis but never drags. 307 Ale is both the "finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale" and the finest of all geeky drinking songs.
307 Ale was released on Tom Smith's 2001 album, Who Let Him in Here? There are many live versions available for download from Tom's Bandcamp page and to watch on YouTube. If I ran a game store I would play the 2001 album version.
307 Ale on Bandcamp
Someday man will venture into the vastness of outer space and visit foreign planets, mingle with alien races, and consume extra-terrestrial booze. Tom Smith puts forward the opinion that even when those days are at hand, the finest intoxicant will still be a terrestrial sort, created in a lab, using means that are still beyond us in the modern day. 307 Ale is a rollicking, banjo-led drinking song based upon a fictional spirit of the same name. It folds in science and science fiction, creating the illusion that the song is inspired by a great work of science fiction literature. In fact, the song was inspired by a Michigan license plate reading "307 ALE", though the tesseract in the song is inspired by Robert A. Heinlein's short story "--And He Built a Crooked House--". 307 Ale is sung by Tom Smith with a band of carousers joining him for the chorus and as background voices cracking wise. The song is upbeat, with a tempo that slows for emphasis but never drags. 307 Ale is both the "finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale" and the finest of all geeky drinking songs.
307 Ale was released on Tom Smith's 2001 album, Who Let Him in Here? There are many live versions available for download from Tom's Bandcamp page and to watch on YouTube. If I ran a game store I would play the 2001 album version.
307 Ale on Bandcamp
Friday, December 26, 2014
Game On
If I ran a game store I would like to play the song Game On by 3d6, but it's NSFW.
The lines don't all rhyme and they don't all have the right number of syllables and the song is a bit too loud and it's sort of offensive. That's all because 3d6 is a "nerd punk" band. They're rules breakers, not rules lawyers. Game On is their ode to D&D. It's about a guy and his girlfriend who decide to visit their favorite local game store and get in an adventure. The guy has a problem with the DM, who seems to be favoring the other PCs and his own NPCs, so the guy goes outside and cuts the brakes on the DM's car. Even if this song were SFW it would still go on the IFFY list because it's messed up. The voice of the song is rather impatient and sounds angry, and who wants to game while listening to that? I might. I listen to this song while I drive and I enjoy its hectic pace.
I get the feeling that the guys in 3d6 - Dave, Anthony, and Rudy - were all delinquents. I envision them at 13-years-old, watching ThunderCats on the patio where they're allowed to smoke and curse at Lion-O. They probably game with half-melted minis because they like to destroy stuff. They're dice throwers for sure. Maybe I'm wrong, but their music makes me think this.
Game On is from 3d6's 2011 album, Damage.
Game On on Google Play
The lines don't all rhyme and they don't all have the right number of syllables and the song is a bit too loud and it's sort of offensive. That's all because 3d6 is a "nerd punk" band. They're rules breakers, not rules lawyers. Game On is their ode to D&D. It's about a guy and his girlfriend who decide to visit their favorite local game store and get in an adventure. The guy has a problem with the DM, who seems to be favoring the other PCs and his own NPCs, so the guy goes outside and cuts the brakes on the DM's car. Even if this song were SFW it would still go on the IFFY list because it's messed up. The voice of the song is rather impatient and sounds angry, and who wants to game while listening to that? I might. I listen to this song while I drive and I enjoy its hectic pace.
I get the feeling that the guys in 3d6 - Dave, Anthony, and Rudy - were all delinquents. I envision them at 13-years-old, watching ThunderCats on the patio where they're allowed to smoke and curse at Lion-O. They probably game with half-melted minis because they like to destroy stuff. They're dice throwers for sure. Maybe I'm wrong, but their music makes me think this.
Game On is from 3d6's 2011 album, Damage.
Game On on Google Play
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Christmas Island
If I ran a game store I would play the song Christmas Island by LAKE.
Christmas Island is the ending credits song to Cartoon Network's immensely popular TV show, Adventure Time. The song is performed by an indie-hipster waif band from the Pacific Northwest and it sounds every bit of it. If the song weren't connected to the show there's no way it would be considered as a song to be played in game stores, but the cache of the show is too strong. People of all ages and fandoms are attached to Adventure Time (including me). The song has a very strong nostalgic feeling even though the show is an ongoing show. You just know that decades from now this song will still pull people back to the teen years of the century.
Christmas Island isn't the ending credits song to Cartoon Network's immensely popular TV show, Adventure Time. Instead, Island Song by Ashley Ericksson is the ending credits song. To be even more precise, an alternate lyrics version of Island Song by Ashley Ericksson is the ending credits song, but this version has never been released for sale or download. The only way to get the actual ending credits version with its alternate lyrics is to rip the song from Adventure Time DVDs or YouTube videos* or otherwise pirate it. Ashley Ericksson is a founding member of LAKE. Island Song and Christmas Island are the same song (slightly different lyrics), but Island Song is her solo career version and Christmas Island is her band career version. Island Song was never released for sale or download. Christmas Island was relased on LAKE's 2009 album, Let's Build a Roof. If I ran a game store I would play Christmas Island by LAKE and let the fans scratch their heads when the song sings about "a place beside the sea" instead of about "the butterflies and bees". For me, the hassle of getting a high bit-rate mp3 of the song used in the show is a barrier.
* The full version of the song is not played in broadcast or streaming episodes of Adventure Time. Only the DVDs play the song in its entirety.
Christmas Time on Google Play
Here's a YouTube video of the alternate lyrics version of Island Song by Ashley Ericksson as used in the closing credits of Adventure Time:
Christmas Island is the ending credits song to Cartoon Network's immensely popular TV show, Adventure Time. The song is performed by an indie-hipster waif band from the Pacific Northwest and it sounds every bit of it. If the song weren't connected to the show there's no way it would be considered as a song to be played in game stores, but the cache of the show is too strong. People of all ages and fandoms are attached to Adventure Time (including me). The song has a very strong nostalgic feeling even though the show is an ongoing show. You just know that decades from now this song will still pull people back to the teen years of the century.
Christmas Island isn't the ending credits song to Cartoon Network's immensely popular TV show, Adventure Time. Instead, Island Song by Ashley Ericksson is the ending credits song. To be even more precise, an alternate lyrics version of Island Song by Ashley Ericksson is the ending credits song, but this version has never been released for sale or download. The only way to get the actual ending credits version with its alternate lyrics is to rip the song from Adventure Time DVDs or YouTube videos* or otherwise pirate it. Ashley Ericksson is a founding member of LAKE. Island Song and Christmas Island are the same song (slightly different lyrics), but Island Song is her solo career version and Christmas Island is her band career version. Island Song was never released for sale or download. Christmas Island was relased on LAKE's 2009 album, Let's Build a Roof. If I ran a game store I would play Christmas Island by LAKE and let the fans scratch their heads when the song sings about "a place beside the sea" instead of about "the butterflies and bees". For me, the hassle of getting a high bit-rate mp3 of the song used in the show is a barrier.
* The full version of the song is not played in broadcast or streaming episodes of Adventure Time. Only the DVDs play the song in its entirety.
Christmas Time on Google Play
Here's a YouTube video of the alternate lyrics version of Island Song by Ashley Ericksson as used in the closing credits of Adventure Time:
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Godzilla
If I ran a game store I would play the song Godzilla by Blue Öyster Cult.
There is definitely room in my fictional game store for some classic rock and Blue Öyster Cult has just the song. Godzilla is about the titular King of Monsters himself. The song is rather sparse on lyrics but what you do get is a few iconic scene descriptions and a chant for Godzilla to depart the city. Just like the original Gojira movie was a warning about the perils of atomic weapons, so too does the song Godzilla close with a warning about the "folly of men". The song is a classic for good reason.
Godzilla was originally released on Blue Öyster Cult's 1977 album, Spectres. It has since been re-released on greatest hits albums and included in soundtracks and other music compilations.
Godzilla on Google Play
There is definitely room in my fictional game store for some classic rock and Blue Öyster Cult has just the song. Godzilla is about the titular King of Monsters himself. The song is rather sparse on lyrics but what you do get is a few iconic scene descriptions and a chant for Godzilla to depart the city. Just like the original Gojira movie was a warning about the perils of atomic weapons, so too does the song Godzilla close with a warning about the "folly of men". The song is a classic for good reason.
Godzilla was originally released on Blue Öyster Cult's 1977 album, Spectres. It has since been re-released on greatest hits albums and included in soundtracks and other music compilations.
Godzilla on Google Play
Monday, December 15, 2014
Peter Gunn Theme
If I ran a game shop I would play the song Peter Gunn Theme by The Blues Brothers Band.
I don't think there are too many game store denizens that remember the 1950s TV show Peter Gunn, but there is certainly a generation of gamers that remember the song from the arcade game Spy Hunter and The Blues Brothers soundtrack. The song very nearly defines spycraft. It has been covered, knocked off, and sampled to ingrain it into the landscape of spy tropes.
The Peter Gunn Theme is unusual because it's all one chord, with an instantly recognizable bass ostinato that plays unchanging throughout the entire song. The original version was composed by Henry Mancini. It was released on his 1959 album, The Music from Peter Gunn. That album won Mancini two 1959 Grammy Awards, for "Album of the Year" and "Best Arrangement". In 2010 the Library of Congress added the album to the National Recording Registry as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant." The song also garnered him with a 1959 Primetime Emmy Award nomination in the category of "Best Musical Contribution to a Television Program".
The Blues Brothers Band version was released on the 1980 album, The Blues Brothers: Music from the Soundtrack. It is a very clean recording, true to the original but adding weight in the right places. This version doesn't evoke a black and white TV serial but instead insists on a 1970s muscle car cruising the shadows at night. It's less gentleman spy and more rogue cop with a bad attitude and an over-sized pistol. Or maybe it's about two greasy, criminal brothers who try to project cool through their Ray Bans.
Peter Gunn Theme on Google Play
I don't think there are too many game store denizens that remember the 1950s TV show Peter Gunn, but there is certainly a generation of gamers that remember the song from the arcade game Spy Hunter and The Blues Brothers soundtrack. The song very nearly defines spycraft. It has been covered, knocked off, and sampled to ingrain it into the landscape of spy tropes.
The Peter Gunn Theme is unusual because it's all one chord, with an instantly recognizable bass ostinato that plays unchanging throughout the entire song. The original version was composed by Henry Mancini. It was released on his 1959 album, The Music from Peter Gunn. That album won Mancini two 1959 Grammy Awards, for "Album of the Year" and "Best Arrangement". In 2010 the Library of Congress added the album to the National Recording Registry as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant." The song also garnered him with a 1959 Primetime Emmy Award nomination in the category of "Best Musical Contribution to a Television Program".
The Blues Brothers Band version was released on the 1980 album, The Blues Brothers: Music from the Soundtrack. It is a very clean recording, true to the original but adding weight in the right places. This version doesn't evoke a black and white TV serial but instead insists on a 1970s muscle car cruising the shadows at night. It's less gentleman spy and more rogue cop with a bad attitude and an over-sized pistol. Or maybe it's about two greasy, criminal brothers who try to project cool through their Ray Bans.
Peter Gunn Theme on Google Play
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Reprehensible
If I ran a game store I might play the song Reprehensible by They Might Be Giants, it's iffy.
The They Might Be Giants catalog is challenging for me to decide. They make wonderfully geeky music that flirts with hipster music and they make wonderful hipster music that flirts with geeky music. The challenge is in deciding which of their songs are geeky enough that they should be played in a game store. To make this task harder for myself Reprehensible is my favorite of all their music, so I struggle with bias on it. I would play it in my imaginary game store as a guilty pleasure, but I don't know if it needs to be played in actual brick and mortars to inculcate geek culture.
Reprehensible is one of the lesser known TMBG tunes. It's about a fellow bent on evil all day long, who is haunted at bedtime by his past of evil deeds spread over many lifetimes. Gamers love evil when it is framed properly and Reprehensible puts an appealing, whimsical frame on it.
Reprehensible was released on They Might Be Giant's 1999 album, Long Tall Weekend, and re-released on their 2002 album of rarities, They Got Lost.
Reprehensible on Google Play
The They Might Be Giants catalog is challenging for me to decide. They make wonderfully geeky music that flirts with hipster music and they make wonderful hipster music that flirts with geeky music. The challenge is in deciding which of their songs are geeky enough that they should be played in a game store. To make this task harder for myself Reprehensible is my favorite of all their music, so I struggle with bias on it. I would play it in my imaginary game store as a guilty pleasure, but I don't know if it needs to be played in actual brick and mortars to inculcate geek culture.
Reprehensible is one of the lesser known TMBG tunes. It's about a fellow bent on evil all day long, who is haunted at bedtime by his past of evil deeds spread over many lifetimes. Gamers love evil when it is framed properly and Reprehensible puts an appealing, whimsical frame on it.
Reprehensible was released on They Might Be Giant's 1999 album, Long Tall Weekend, and re-released on their 2002 album of rarities, They Got Lost.
Reprehensible on Google Play
Friday, December 12, 2014
Suds Me Up, Sulu
If I ran a game store I would play the song Suds Me Up, Sulu by Warp 11.
There are very few homoerotic bath-side rock ballads suitable for playing in a game store, but Suds Me Up, Sulu is one of them. In it, Warp 11 plays their guitars gingerly trying to lure Star Trek's Mr. Sulu into a naughty bathtub encounter. The song is played for laughs with lyrics full of filthy puns. You can almost hear George Takei ejaculating his catchphrase "Oh my!" Don't worry, the song doesn't run into foul language. This one is sure to get laughter and groans from patrons in my fictional game store.
Suds Me Up, Sulu is from Warp 11's 2002 album, Red Alert.
Suds Me Up, Sulu on CDBaby
There are very few homoerotic bath-side rock ballads suitable for playing in a game store, but Suds Me Up, Sulu is one of them. In it, Warp 11 plays their guitars gingerly trying to lure Star Trek's Mr. Sulu into a naughty bathtub encounter. The song is played for laughs with lyrics full of filthy puns. You can almost hear George Takei ejaculating his catchphrase "Oh my!" Don't worry, the song doesn't run into foul language. This one is sure to get laughter and groans from patrons in my fictional game store.
Suds Me Up, Sulu is from Warp 11's 2002 album, Red Alert.
Suds Me Up, Sulu on CDBaby
Monday, December 8, 2014
Hoodie Ninja
If I ran a game store I would play the song Hoodie Ninja by mc chris.
You might have heard this song in a Honda commercial or on America's Funniest Home Videos. mc chris is a founder of nerdcore rap and the most successful artist of the genre to date, with this song breaking into mainstream. Hoodie Ninja follows a mischievous juvenile dressed in a black hoodie and his black church pants as he goes on two capers: peeping into a girl's window and pranking his gym teacher. The song moves along so quickly that you're forgiven if you miss the story and only hear the words that jump into your ear, like "ninja", "Barnum Bailey", "ninja", "Banksy", "ninja", and "Mount Doom". Listening to it, it's obvious why it met mainstream success. I think it should meet game store success too. I'd play it.
Hoodie Ninja was released on mc chris's 2008 album, mc chris is dead.
Hoodie Ninja on Google Play
Hoodie Ninja was released on mc chris's 2008 album, mc chris is dead.
Hoodie Ninja on Google Play
Friday, December 5, 2014
I Had a Shoggoth
If I ran a game store I would play I Had a Shoggoth by Tom Smith.
If you've never heard of a shoggoth then make your way to the Horror / H.P. Lovecraft section of your game store and dig around in the Call of Cthulhu RPG books*. Better yet, get a Keeper (game master) to run you through a few CoC RPG scenarios and then you'll really be on board with I Had a Shoggoth.
I Had a Shoggoth is a parody of the traditional children's song I Had a Cat. It's a filk song performed by Tom with only a banjo and his voice. The song is of the repeating-and-building-chorus type, with each repeat of the chorus adding in some new being from literature, TV, or movies. The jokes change as the song progresses. For this reason, Tom Smith himself prefers people to listen to the song before reading the lyrics.
There are two versions of the song available, with the dialogue from the characters being what varies. The first release of the song was on The FuMP in April 2008, followed by release on their album, The FuMP Volume 8. Tom Smith released a 2009 album, titled More Than FuMP: Songs of The FuMP, Vol. 2, that contains the second version of the song. Tom Smith performs live at conventions all across the country and he's recorded and released albums from many of his shows. There are many live versions of I Had a Shoggoth available on his "live shows" page as well.
If I ran a game store I would play the version from The Fump.
I Had a Shoggoth (version 1) on the FuMP
I Had a Shoggoth (version 2) on Bandcamp
* Or get yourself a copy of the H.P. Lovecraft's short story, The Call of Cthulhu.
If you've never heard of a shoggoth then make your way to the Horror / H.P. Lovecraft section of your game store and dig around in the Call of Cthulhu RPG books*. Better yet, get a Keeper (game master) to run you through a few CoC RPG scenarios and then you'll really be on board with I Had a Shoggoth.
I Had a Shoggoth is a parody of the traditional children's song I Had a Cat. It's a filk song performed by Tom with only a banjo and his voice. The song is of the repeating-and-building-chorus type, with each repeat of the chorus adding in some new being from literature, TV, or movies. The jokes change as the song progresses. For this reason, Tom Smith himself prefers people to listen to the song before reading the lyrics.
There are two versions of the song available, with the dialogue from the characters being what varies. The first release of the song was on The FuMP in April 2008, followed by release on their album, The FuMP Volume 8. Tom Smith released a 2009 album, titled More Than FuMP: Songs of The FuMP, Vol. 2, that contains the second version of the song. Tom Smith performs live at conventions all across the country and he's recorded and released albums from many of his shows. There are many live versions of I Had a Shoggoth available on his "live shows" page as well.
If I ran a game store I would play the version from The Fump.
I Had a Shoggoth (version 1) on the FuMP
I Had a Shoggoth (version 2) on Bandcamp
* Or get yourself a copy of the H.P. Lovecraft's short story, The Call of Cthulhu.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Chewbacca
If I ran a game store I would play Chewbacca by Supernova.
There's a lot to love about this song: it's about Chewbacca, it was featured in the movie Clerks, and it has the voices of Chewbacca and Jabba the Hutt. The song has a very distinct guitar riff that powers it. The vocals are few, primarily being guys yelling "Chewbacca" or "Chewie" with Chewbacca yelling between lyrics. The song opens and closes with Jabba talking smack. That's the song. It's over quickly, but it's a fun ride. Depending upon your age you'll like it because of Star Wars or you like it because of Star Wars and Clerks.
There are at least two different versions of the song available, with slightly different lyrics. The soundtrack version has band members doing the voices of Jabba, Chewie, and Han. It opens with a direct Jabba quote and closes with something that sounds very Jabba-esque, but is not actual Huttese. This version was released on the 1994 album, Clerks: Music from the Motion Picture. Depending upon the source you use this song might have a preamble of Randal and Dante (from Clerks) discussing Star Wars.
The album version is a better-sounding recording. It opens and closes with a direct soundbite from Return of the Jedi, with Jabba stating both times "At last we have the mighty Chewbacca." It also features a soundbite of Han Solo from the same film, and maybe - it's hard for my ears to distinguish - soundbites of Chewbacca yelling. This version is from Supernova's 2000 album, Pop as a Weapon.
If I ran a game store I would play the soundtrack version.
Chewbacca (soundtrack version) on Google Play
Chewbacca (album version) on Google Play
There's a lot to love about this song: it's about Chewbacca, it was featured in the movie Clerks, and it has the voices of Chewbacca and Jabba the Hutt. The song has a very distinct guitar riff that powers it. The vocals are few, primarily being guys yelling "Chewbacca" or "Chewie" with Chewbacca yelling between lyrics. The song opens and closes with Jabba talking smack. That's the song. It's over quickly, but it's a fun ride. Depending upon your age you'll like it because of Star Wars or you like it because of Star Wars and Clerks.
There are at least two different versions of the song available, with slightly different lyrics. The soundtrack version has band members doing the voices of Jabba, Chewie, and Han. It opens with a direct Jabba quote and closes with something that sounds very Jabba-esque, but is not actual Huttese. This version was released on the 1994 album, Clerks: Music from the Motion Picture. Depending upon the source you use this song might have a preamble of Randal and Dante (from Clerks) discussing Star Wars.
The album version is a better-sounding recording. It opens and closes with a direct soundbite from Return of the Jedi, with Jabba stating both times "At last we have the mighty Chewbacca." It also features a soundbite of Han Solo from the same film, and maybe - it's hard for my ears to distinguish - soundbites of Chewbacca yelling. This version is from Supernova's 2000 album, Pop as a Weapon.
If I ran a game store I would play the soundtrack version.
Chewbacca (soundtrack version) on Google Play
Chewbacca (album version) on Google Play
Monday, December 1, 2014
Super Powers
If I ran a game store I would play the song Super Powers by Ookla the Mok.
We're all familiar with the origin stories of the A-list superheroes. Here's Ookla the Mok having some fun poking at those origin stories. Super Powers is a rock tune that rattles off origin after origin, teasing superheroes for how they receive(d) their powers. It dogs them for their apparel and crime-fighting tools of the trade. It also provides the first team-up for the heroes that appear to be minted in the first half of the song. Super Powers is a good one to play in a game store, at a comic shop, or in line for a superhero movie. And with the current crush of superhero movies it's a song that a lot of people can enjoy - this one's not just for geeks.
Super Powers is from Ookla the Mok's 1998 album, Super Secret.
Super Powers on Google Play
We're all familiar with the origin stories of the A-list superheroes. Here's Ookla the Mok having some fun poking at those origin stories. Super Powers is a rock tune that rattles off origin after origin, teasing superheroes for how they receive(d) their powers. It dogs them for their apparel and crime-fighting tools of the trade. It also provides the first team-up for the heroes that appear to be minted in the first half of the song. Super Powers is a good one to play in a game store, at a comic shop, or in line for a superhero movie. And with the current crush of superhero movies it's a song that a lot of people can enjoy - this one's not just for geeks.
Super Powers is from Ookla the Mok's 1998 album, Super Secret.
Super Powers on Google Play
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