If I ran a game store I would play the song Critical Hit by Ghost Mice.
Everybody who's ever seen the movie The Goonies remembers the Goonies catchphrase, "Goonies never say die." Critical Hit is a song after that same sentiment. The song takes place in a dungeon where Despair has cast its long shadow over the party. The PCs are spent and the monsters are still walking tall. It's doubtful that the DM is going to play the Deus ex Machina card, so the only thing really left to do is to hack. Hack like your lives depend on it - and hope for that natural 20. "Not all fights are won by skill, some are won by luck." That needs to be on a Chessex poster.
Ghost Mice is a two-piece folk band composed of two people who normally play punk music: Chris Clavin on guitar and Hannah Jones on violin. The two were/are in various punk bands together - and Chris started the label Plan-It-X Records - before striking into folk music. They bring a really fun sound to folk, sounding more like an Austin, Texas band than a Bloomington, Indiana one. Critical Hit has a really loose, folksy, back porch feel to it, with most of the lyrics not caring to rhyme and most of the lines not caring for meter. I tend to forget about this song and then when I hear it I hum it for a week.
Critical Hit was released on the 2007 album, Ghost Mice & Andrew Jackson Jihad. It's a split album with the first eight songs being performed by Andrew Jackson Jihad and the last eight being played by Ghost Mice.
Critical Hit on Google Play
Monday, March 30, 2015
Friday, March 27, 2015
Exclamations
If I ran a game store I would play Exclamations by the Brobdingnagian Bards.
When I was a kid, every now and then during Saturday morning cartoons a commercial was removed and replaced with a cartoon music video from Schoolhouse Rock!. The songs were all super catchy and the cartoons were very cartoony and paired together they were magical to me. The song Exclamations is a parody of the Schoolhouse Rock! song, Interjections. Grammatically speaking, an exclamation is a type of interjection so the parody remains quite true to the original, with both songs being about the parts of speech.
Exclamations is a song written by David Keefer of Maryland-based band Boogie Knights. It's become something of a filk standard and there are many versions on YouTube sung by various artists at various conventions. The Brobdingnagian Bards' version had its lyrics doctored by Andrew McKee (of "the Bards") to be a bit more sci-fi and bit less French, and still very FLGS-worthy. They play their version on an auto-harp with Marc Gunn doing the singing and McKee doing the exclaiming.
Exclamations by the Brobdingnagian Bards was released on The FuMP in summer of 2007 and was released on the album, The FuMP Volume 3 not long after.
Exclamations on Google Play
When I was a kid, every now and then during Saturday morning cartoons a commercial was removed and replaced with a cartoon music video from Schoolhouse Rock!. The songs were all super catchy and the cartoons were very cartoony and paired together they were magical to me. The song Exclamations is a parody of the Schoolhouse Rock! song, Interjections. Grammatically speaking, an exclamation is a type of interjection so the parody remains quite true to the original, with both songs being about the parts of speech.
Exclamations is a song written by David Keefer of Maryland-based band Boogie Knights. It's become something of a filk standard and there are many versions on YouTube sung by various artists at various conventions. The Brobdingnagian Bards' version had its lyrics doctored by Andrew McKee (of "the Bards") to be a bit more sci-fi and bit less French, and still very FLGS-worthy. They play their version on an auto-harp with Marc Gunn doing the singing and McKee doing the exclaiming.
Exclamations by the Brobdingnagian Bards was released on The FuMP in summer of 2007 and was released on the album, The FuMP Volume 3 not long after.
Exclamations on Google Play
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Worst Superpower Ever
If I ran a game store I would play the song Worst Superpower Ever by The Doubleclicks.
Anyone who's read superhero comics or watched X-Men: The Last Stand knows that not all superpowers or mutations are equal. Some powers are as bland as bones protruding through skin (Marrow), the power of language translation (Cypher), an advanced skill in training attack bees (Red Bee), or the ability to morph into any shape as long as that shape is made of water (Zan). The Doubleclicks decided to have some fun with this idea by taunting the weak-powered heroes of their imaginations with the song Worst Superpower Ever. It's a slowish song filled with the voices of the Webber sisters, a guitar, and the bass tones of the violoncello. In it, they brainstorm some really weak sauce powers and then taunt whoever might have those powers. I think every geek has spent some time brainstorming lists of lousy powers because in our hearts we all know that the popular kids would be the ones with the cool powers while we'd get stuff like the ability to over-stuff pocket protectors.
There are two versions of Worst Superpower Ever that were released simultaneously in 2012. The Doubleclicks released their Chainmail and Cello album and Worst Superpower Ever album at the same time. While the two albums have different songs there are some songs that appear on both, with the Chainmail and Cello versions being dirty and the Worst Superpower Ever versions being clean (they change lyrics, they don't bleep words). In the case of the song Worst Superpower Ever the difference between the two versions is one lyric:
Worst Superpower Ever on Google Play
Worst Superpower Ever (kid's version) on Google Play
Anyone who's read superhero comics or watched X-Men: The Last Stand knows that not all superpowers or mutations are equal. Some powers are as bland as bones protruding through skin (Marrow), the power of language translation (Cypher), an advanced skill in training attack bees (Red Bee), or the ability to morph into any shape as long as that shape is made of water (Zan). The Doubleclicks decided to have some fun with this idea by taunting the weak-powered heroes of their imaginations with the song Worst Superpower Ever. It's a slowish song filled with the voices of the Webber sisters, a guitar, and the bass tones of the violoncello. In it, they brainstorm some really weak sauce powers and then taunt whoever might have those powers. I think every geek has spent some time brainstorming lists of lousy powers because in our hearts we all know that the popular kids would be the ones with the cool powers while we'd get stuff like the ability to over-stuff pocket protectors.
There are two versions of Worst Superpower Ever that were released simultaneously in 2012. The Doubleclicks released their Chainmail and Cello album and Worst Superpower Ever album at the same time. While the two albums have different songs there are some songs that appear on both, with the Chainmail and Cello versions being dirty and the Worst Superpower Ever versions being clean (they change lyrics, they don't bleep words). In the case of the song Worst Superpower Ever the difference between the two versions is one lyric:
Adult version: Or would you rather be a brave blind man with the power to see?If I ran a game store I would play the adult version of Worst Superpower Ever from the album Chainmail and Cello, just because.
Kids version: Or would you rather have the power to control all the fish in the sea?
Worst Superpower Ever on Google Play
Worst Superpower Ever (kid's version) on Google Play
Monday, March 23, 2015
Wannabe a Slayer
If I ran a game store I would play the song Wannabe a Slayer by The Spike Girls.
Buffy was the slayer, but there were plenty of people watching her from their sofas wishing they were slayers too. Wannabe a Slayer is something of an instruction manual for acting like a slayer. In it, the Spike Girls sing about the heart and discipline it takes. They list the assets necessary to prevail over evil, and by their estimation you pretty much need the original crew that surrounded Buffy. Basically, you need to be Buffy and I gaffed it by calling the song an instruction manual. There's only one slayer and it's not you and it's not me, so all we can do is wannabe.
Wannabe a Slayer is a parody of The Spice Girls' song, Wannabe. The band name "Spike Girls" is also a parody of the Spice Girls, with the delightful twist of incorporating the name of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer character. The Spike Girls is actually a vocalist named Chemele paired with the great Luke Ski. Luke Ski wrote the song and realized it needed a female singer so his engineer hired Chemele to do the female lyrics while Luke Ski did the rest.
Wannabe a Slayer is from the great Luke Ski's 2002 album, Uber Geek. He re-released the track on his 2003 album, Greatest Hits Volume 1: 1996-2003.
Wannabe a Slayer on Bandcamp
Buffy was the slayer, but there were plenty of people watching her from their sofas wishing they were slayers too. Wannabe a Slayer is something of an instruction manual for acting like a slayer. In it, the Spike Girls sing about the heart and discipline it takes. They list the assets necessary to prevail over evil, and by their estimation you pretty much need the original crew that surrounded Buffy. Basically, you need to be Buffy and I gaffed it by calling the song an instruction manual. There's only one slayer and it's not you and it's not me, so all we can do is wannabe.
Wannabe a Slayer is a parody of The Spice Girls' song, Wannabe. The band name "Spike Girls" is also a parody of the Spice Girls, with the delightful twist of incorporating the name of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer character. The Spike Girls is actually a vocalist named Chemele paired with the great Luke Ski. Luke Ski wrote the song and realized it needed a female singer so his engineer hired Chemele to do the female lyrics while Luke Ski did the rest.
Wannabe a Slayer is from the great Luke Ski's 2002 album, Uber Geek. He re-released the track on his 2003 album, Greatest Hits Volume 1: 1996-2003.
Wannabe a Slayer on Bandcamp
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Rockin' Rockin' Leprechauns
If I ran a game store I would play the song Rockin' Rockin' Leprechauns by Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers.
Traditionally, leprechauns wore red coats, green vests, white pants, and black socks. They also like to pinch and prank people and wearing green grants a person immunity from these bothers. It's lesser known, but leprechauns also like to play rock and roll music. Their rock and roll roots go back to early times on the Emerald Isle, though at some point a while ago they stopped playing it. Nobody really remembers when they stopped. Even fewer would know why they stopped. The thing is, they've just recently returned and their rock and roll sound is as playful as ever. Rockin' Rockin' Leprechauns is Jonathon Richman's celebration of their return and is itself a playful, stripped down rock and roll song. The song features a bare bones acoustic that sounds like it might have been played in a hall rather than a recording studio, especially the saxophone interlude. It's light-weight and carries a sense of whimsy - perfect for a game store.
Rockin' Rockin' Leprechauns is from the 1977 album, Rock 'n' Roll with the Modern Lovers. It was also released on the 2013 compilation album, Roadrunner: The Berzerkeley Collection, which collected their hits on the Berzerkeley record label.
Rockin' Rockin' Leprechauns on Google Play
Traditionally, leprechauns wore red coats, green vests, white pants, and black socks. They also like to pinch and prank people and wearing green grants a person immunity from these bothers. It's lesser known, but leprechauns also like to play rock and roll music. Their rock and roll roots go back to early times on the Emerald Isle, though at some point a while ago they stopped playing it. Nobody really remembers when they stopped. Even fewer would know why they stopped. The thing is, they've just recently returned and their rock and roll sound is as playful as ever. Rockin' Rockin' Leprechauns is Jonathon Richman's celebration of their return and is itself a playful, stripped down rock and roll song. The song features a bare bones acoustic that sounds like it might have been played in a hall rather than a recording studio, especially the saxophone interlude. It's light-weight and carries a sense of whimsy - perfect for a game store.
Rockin' Rockin' Leprechauns is from the 1977 album, Rock 'n' Roll with the Modern Lovers. It was also released on the 2013 compilation album, Roadrunner: The Berzerkeley Collection, which collected their hits on the Berzerkeley record label.
Rockin' Rockin' Leprechauns on Google Play
Monday, March 16, 2015
Dark Lord Sleeping on My Sofa
If I ran a game store I would play the song Dark Lord Sleeping on My Sofa by The Blibbering Humdingers.
It took Lord Voldemort a good long while to rebound after zapping baby Harry Potter with the Killing Curse, something like seventeen years. That's a long time for a serial killer to need to couch surf. Ben Franklin nailed it when he wrote, "Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days." I can only imagine the stress that He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named created when he showed up on a doorstep with his suitcase in hand. Clearly, The Blibbering Humdingers were thinking the same thing because they wrote Dark Lord Sleeping on My Sofa as an exploration of that scenario. The song is played in their typical upbeat fashion, almost sounding like the theme song to a 1980s sitcom. It goes down a list of beefs that a typical house guest presents, like not kicking in for take-out, but it mixes in problems that only the Dark Lord would create.
The song was previewed on YouTube in 2010 with a video using preliminary lyrics and a purposefully raucous performance (link). The final version of the song came a few months later, on The Blibbering Humdingers' 2010 album, Nobody Expects.... They released a karaoke version of the song on their 2012 album, Free Awkward Hugs.
Dark Lord Sleeping on My Sofa on Google Play
It took Lord Voldemort a good long while to rebound after zapping baby Harry Potter with the Killing Curse, something like seventeen years. That's a long time for a serial killer to need to couch surf. Ben Franklin nailed it when he wrote, "Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days." I can only imagine the stress that He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named created when he showed up on a doorstep with his suitcase in hand. Clearly, The Blibbering Humdingers were thinking the same thing because they wrote Dark Lord Sleeping on My Sofa as an exploration of that scenario. The song is played in their typical upbeat fashion, almost sounding like the theme song to a 1980s sitcom. It goes down a list of beefs that a typical house guest presents, like not kicking in for take-out, but it mixes in problems that only the Dark Lord would create.
The song was previewed on YouTube in 2010 with a video using preliminary lyrics and a purposefully raucous performance (link). The final version of the song came a few months later, on The Blibbering Humdingers' 2010 album, Nobody Expects.... They released a karaoke version of the song on their 2012 album, Free Awkward Hugs.
Dark Lord Sleeping on My Sofa on Google Play
Friday, March 13, 2015
Table Top
If I ran a game store I would play the song Table Top by Beefy.
It's Friday night game night at the favorite local game store and Beefy is playing to win with his song, Table Top. If game stores had the bucks to advertise on TV, this is the song they'd play in those ads. It's a Nerdcore hip-hop song that has Beefy breaking open both his Players's Handbook and his rhyming dictionary. In it, he sings about his love of board and card games, calling out his most and least favorites by name. There's some boasting, some joking, and some decreeing. The song has something of a hectic beat to it and it'll take more than one listen to catch all the lyrics and his references.
Table Top is from Beefy's 2008 album, Rolling Doubles. The song was in circulation for nearly a year before the album released and that made it the biggest song on the album. Beefy frequently closes his live shows with it. If I put together a top-ten list of songs to be played in game stores, Table Top would rank very highly.
Table Top on Google Play
It's Friday night game night at the favorite local game store and Beefy is playing to win with his song, Table Top. If game stores had the bucks to advertise on TV, this is the song they'd play in those ads. It's a Nerdcore hip-hop song that has Beefy breaking open both his Players's Handbook and his rhyming dictionary. In it, he sings about his love of board and card games, calling out his most and least favorites by name. There's some boasting, some joking, and some decreeing. The song has something of a hectic beat to it and it'll take more than one listen to catch all the lyrics and his references.
Table Top is from Beefy's 2008 album, Rolling Doubles. The song was in circulation for nearly a year before the album released and that made it the biggest song on the album. Beefy frequently closes his live shows with it. If I put together a top-ten list of songs to be played in game stores, Table Top would rank very highly.
Table Top on Google Play
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Sweep the Leg
If I ran a game store I would play the song Sweep the Leg by No More Kings.
We all knew that Kreese was a bad guy as sensei of the Cobra Kai, but the extent of his bad was shown as he held Johnny's head, stared him dead in the eyes, and uttered, "Sweep the leg." Daniel-san was already as good as beaten. The illegal move Bobby used on his knee made it impossible for Daniel-san to stand without wobbling. After receiving the order Johnny stared at Kreese in shock. "Do you have a problem with that?" asked Kreese. Johnny stammered, "No, sensei." "No mercy," the master reminded the student.
It's an iconic scene in the iconic, 1984 version of The Karate Kid. While it's not depicted in the movie, the events of that fight have lingered in Johnny's mind for a long time. With Sweep the Leg, No More Kings have put together a moderate rock tune that gets inside of Johnny's head and examines all the demons that Kreese and that bout have left lingering there. "I heard the devil whisper in my ear. He made his message clear when he said, 'sweep the leg, Johnny.'" As Johnny awarded Daniel-san the victor's trophy himself it was immediately evident that Kreese's control had ended and the afterthoughts had begun – start the music.
The actors who played the Cobra Kai remain real life friends into the present day. Somehow No More Kings managed to connect with these guys to reprise their roles in the music video for Sweep the Leg. They also got Martin Kove and Ralph Macchio to return as Sensei Kreese and Daniel LaRusso, respectively. The video plays something like a continuation of the movie, perhaps feeling more like a "Twenty years later..." though. The video went viral upon its release.
Sweep the Leg was released on the No More Kings' 2007 album, No More Kings. The album won an Independent Music Award in 2008 in the Album - Pop/Rock category.
Sweep the Leg on Google Play
We all knew that Kreese was a bad guy as sensei of the Cobra Kai, but the extent of his bad was shown as he held Johnny's head, stared him dead in the eyes, and uttered, "Sweep the leg." Daniel-san was already as good as beaten. The illegal move Bobby used on his knee made it impossible for Daniel-san to stand without wobbling. After receiving the order Johnny stared at Kreese in shock. "Do you have a problem with that?" asked Kreese. Johnny stammered, "No, sensei." "No mercy," the master reminded the student.
It's an iconic scene in the iconic, 1984 version of The Karate Kid. While it's not depicted in the movie, the events of that fight have lingered in Johnny's mind for a long time. With Sweep the Leg, No More Kings have put together a moderate rock tune that gets inside of Johnny's head and examines all the demons that Kreese and that bout have left lingering there. "I heard the devil whisper in my ear. He made his message clear when he said, 'sweep the leg, Johnny.'" As Johnny awarded Daniel-san the victor's trophy himself it was immediately evident that Kreese's control had ended and the afterthoughts had begun – start the music.
The actors who played the Cobra Kai remain real life friends into the present day. Somehow No More Kings managed to connect with these guys to reprise their roles in the music video for Sweep the Leg. They also got Martin Kove and Ralph Macchio to return as Sensei Kreese and Daniel LaRusso, respectively. The video plays something like a continuation of the movie, perhaps feeling more like a "Twenty years later..." though. The video went viral upon its release.
Sweep the Leg was released on the No More Kings' 2007 album, No More Kings. The album won an Independent Music Award in 2008 in the Album - Pop/Rock category.
Sweep the Leg on Google Play
Monday, March 9, 2015
Soul Bossa Nova
If I ran a game store I would play Soul Bossa Nova by Quincy Jones.
It took Quincy Jones twenty minutes to write Soul Bossa Nova in 1962 (source) and it has lived a robust life ever since. I think it's fair to say that most of us know the song from the Austin Powers series of movies as the outrageous 1960s, flower power theme song. I know that when I pretend to play it in my pretend store I get a lot of "Groovy, baby!", "Oh, behave!", and "Do I make you horny baby?" from my pretend customers. The song was also the theme song to a 1970s/80s Canadian game show. It has been featured in movies and video games, and it's been sampled by hip hop artists. I'm sure Mr. Jones wishes all of his twenty-minutes compositions were as well received.
Soul Bossa Nova was released on Quincy Jones' shagadelic1962 album, Big Band Bossa Nova.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Saving Throw
If I ran a game store I'd play the song Saving Throw by Shaun Varney.
Sometimes catastrophe befalls our characters. The game of Dungeons and Dragons is one of heroes, though, and not knaves. Therefore the game designers included a mechanism allowing characters to reach deep inside of themselves to overpower forces that would doom the rest of us: the saving throw. Shaun Varney has provided this heavy metal ode to the life-saving die roll. He lists a series of bad and catastrophic situations from which only a saving throw will save the character, gambling their life on the toss of a d20. He didn't get really adventurous with the lyrics, though he did get a little dark with his scenarios. It's clear he's spent time around a merciless DM.
Saving Throw is from Shaun Varney's 2006 album, Menuit the Mediocre: Truth Is in the Ear of the Beholder.
Saving Throw on Google Play
Sometimes catastrophe befalls our characters. The game of Dungeons and Dragons is one of heroes, though, and not knaves. Therefore the game designers included a mechanism allowing characters to reach deep inside of themselves to overpower forces that would doom the rest of us: the saving throw. Shaun Varney has provided this heavy metal ode to the life-saving die roll. He lists a series of bad and catastrophic situations from which only a saving throw will save the character, gambling their life on the toss of a d20. He didn't get really adventurous with the lyrics, though he did get a little dark with his scenarios. It's clear he's spent time around a merciless DM.
Saving Throw is from Shaun Varney's 2006 album, Menuit the Mediocre: Truth Is in the Ear of the Beholder.
Saving Throw on Google Play
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