Halloween

If I ran a game store I would play Halloween by Stephen Lynch.

I would play it every day of the year, not just seasonally. Halloween is deliciously dark and twisted. It has a perverse sense of humor and I think it's clear that it's humor, no matter how macabre. Stephen Lynch is a comedian-musician-actor. The version of the song I would play is his live version, where it's him and his guitar in front of an audience. It's from his 2005 album, The Craig Machine (don’t be put off by the cover art – it's humor not Satanism). The song hearkens back to the 1970s when stories of children receiving spiked candy or vanishing circulated widely. It is sung from the point of view of the miscreant who hurts kids. Gamers have a willingness to explore and embrace dark subject matter – witness horror games like All Flesh Must Be Eaten, Arkham Horror, Betrayal at House on the Hill, and Little Fears. The humor in Halloween should align nicely with gamers' ability to enjoy horror.

Halloween on Google Play

Teenage Creature

If I ran a game store I would play Teenage Creature by Lord Luther.

I have days when people look at me like I'm a mutant. How, then, must Lord Luther feel? It seems he's plagued with every ailment known to make someone into a monster. Teenage Creature follows the plight of a teen boy who polymorphs from one Universal Monster into another as he tries to get girls to notice him. The poor fellow can't help but belch out spooky laughs and catcalls to make him even more of a turn off. The song is a 1958 doo-wop tune sometimes credited to Lord Luther and other times credited to "Lord Luther with The King’s Men". It plays like homage to horror movies of old. The song was originally released on 45. Nowadays it's typically found on Halloween compilation albums. I think that the playfulness of the song really unshackles it from being a seasonal song. I would certainly play it year-round in my game store, if I ran a game store.

Teenage Creature on Google Play

Mysterious Mose

If I ran a game store I would play the song Mysterious Mose by R. Crumb & His Cheap Suit Serenaders.

Originally the soundtrack to a vintage Betty Boop cartoon of the same name, Mysterious Mose is an oldie but a goody. The song is about the tingle that goes up your spine when you're scared or it could be about an apparition of sorts. Honestly, the song doesn't really nail down the exact being of Mysterious Mose. The 1930 cartoon from which it sprang reveals Mose as an automaton full or gears and springs. Both the song and cartoon give examples of abilities that make it hard to imagine Mysterious Mose actually being one thing – a luxury of the imagination.

There are many versions of Mysterious Mose from which to choose. I choose the version by R. Crumb & His Cheap Suit Serenaders because once they're past the lyrics they operate like a skiffle jam band, and that's a rare sound. Mysterious Mose is from the 1976 album, R. Crumb and his Cheap Suit Serenaders No. 2, which has since been reissued as a 1993 album, Chasin' Rainbows.

Mysterious Mose on Google Play

The Blob

If I ran a game store I would play the song The Blob by The Five Blobs.

It's the title song to the 1958 film, The Blob. The film was made as a serious entry into the horror and sci-fi genres. It was received as such, but over time it has been categorized as a B-movie. Somehow when The Five Blobs made the song they knew the destiny of the film's legacy and gave it a campy romp of a title track. The song comes off like a quirky Latin tango with a short list of lyrics. The singer is actually one guy, Bernie Nee, overdubbing himself to sound like five guys and the songwriters are Burt Bacharach and Mack David. The Bacharach touch is obvious once you know it's him. The song The Blob spent three weeks in the 1958 Top 40, giving Bacharach one of his earliest hits.

The Blob on Google Play

Re: Your Brains

If I ran a game store I would play the song Re: Your Brains by Jonathan Coulton.

You don't know where you'll be when the zombie apocalypse occurs. There's every reason to believe that some of us will already be in zombie stupors at our day jobs, crossing over without noticing - except for the changes in appetite. Jonathon Coulton draws on that mindset with Re: Your Brains. It's an original rock tune played from the perspective of a zombified office guy (Bob) trying to convince his coworker (Tom), who has barricaded himself in a shopping mall, to open the door allow the zombies to feast upon his brain. Worst case of the Mondays ever.

Jonathon Coulton is a major talent in geek music, having developed a huge web following and touring as the opening act for They Might Be Giants. Re: Your Brains is likely his best known tune. It's easily one of his most played tunes at live shows. The song is attached to numerous YouTube videos with millions of views and it's been covered by other bands and covered in other languages. Basically, Re: Your Brains is a song that any geek worth their salt will recognize and it deserves to be played in game stores – it's a no brainer.

Re: Your Brains was released on Jonathan Coulton's 2006 album, Thing a Week Two.

Re: Your Brains on Jonathon Coulton's store

I'll Eat Yer Brain

If I ran a game store I would play the song I'll Eat Yer Brain by Bill Mills.

Bill Mills, showing that his finger is on the pulse of pop culture, released a zombie song that's a parody of a nearly 100-year-old song at the height of the zombie craze in 2011. A move like that takes guts. This song has guts, the kind of guts that ooze through the abdomen and onto the floor. I'll Eat Yer Brain is a filk song based upon the early 20th century folk standard "Little Liza Jane". Mr. Mills's version is told from the perspective of a zombie singing to its prey. It's a twangy song that is very near bluegrass in style. He keeps the lyrics of the verses quiet (not sure if that's on purpose or not) and brings it up for the chorus, with the effect being that it's easy to overlook this being a zombie song at first. It's not until you find yourself singing along, "Oooh, I'll eat yer, I'll eat yer brain," that you really get a taste for I'll Eat Yer Brain.

I'll Eat Yer Brain was released on the FuMP in 2011.

I'll Eat Yer Brain on the FuMP

Skeleton Cowboys

If I ran a game store I would play the song Skeleton Cowboys by Ghoultown.

Ghoultown sounds like they were inspired by the Deadlands RPG. They play gothabilly, which in this case sounds like a dark western played rockabilly style. Skeleton Cowboys has a very distinct "old west" feel to it both musically and lyrically, backed by an up tempo rhythm. The song is about a group of skeletal cowboys who ride into town with flaming eyes and blazing guns, reaping souls as they pass. How do you stop them? You don't. They'll get you with their horses' hooves or lash you with their whips. When the skeleton cowboys come a-ridin' it's best to lay low, but when Skeleton Cowboys starts playing it's best to turn it up.

Skeleton Cowboys was originally released as the A-side track on a 7" vinyl album and was later released on Ghoultown's 2012 album, The Unforgotten: Rare & Un-Released. X Marks the Beat will be visiting other songs from this album and this band in the future.

Skeleton Cowboys on Google Play

A Well-Dressed Hobbit

If I ran a game store I would play the song A Well-Dressed Hobbit by Marc Gunn.

Gamers like hobbits and gamers like lists of gear, ergo gamers like lists of hobbit gear. This is a song about a hobbit checking to make sure he's properly attired for his night at the pub. It's a filk tune played by Marc Gunn using only an autoharp and it sounds right out of the Renaissance Faire. It's also a cumulative song, meaning there's a list of items in the verse that grows one item longer every time the verse is sung. By the time the song ends it's been sped up and the list has grown so long that listeners can't keep up with singing along. A Well-Dressed Hobbit has been called the "hobbits' version"* of The Rattlin' Bog, which is a popular Irish folk tune.

A Well-Dressed Hobbit is from Marc Gunn's 2011 album, Don't Go Drinking with Hobbits. Expect more from this album to appear on X Marks the Beat.

A Well-Dressed Hobbit on Google Play

* Quote taken from The FuMP.

Hail The Chap

If I ran a game store I would play the song Hail The Chap by Mr. B the Gentlemen Rhymer.

When steampunk arrived it was accompanied by Victorian behaviors that created a dapper sub-culture. Men were sitting with straight backs, oiled mustaches, and all imaginable manners of the late 1800s. I don't know which came first, steampunk or The Chap magazine, but the two certainly leaned on each other as they developed. Hail the Chap is an ode to The Chap magazine on its tenth anniversary. The song laments the current state of gentlemanly being and implores listeners to adhere to The Chap Manifesto, which is The Chap's ten rules of conduct and attire. To the casual listener the song lays down some groundwork of steampunk, imploring men to behave, but the distinguished listener will know the song as a rally cry of The Chap – "All hail The Chap!"

Hail The Chap is of the small genre known as chap-hop. It features Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer on the banjolele and he's accompanied by a horn, piano, and drum. It has a brisk cadence, a strict syncopation and an impossible vocabulary that'll make you listen closer the next time you hear it. The whole of the song feels very steampunk despite the hip-hop elements.

Hail The Chap on Google Play

I Can Not Breathe in Your Atmosphere

If I ran a game store I would like to play the song I Can Not Breathe in Your Atmosphere by Future Folk, but it's NSFW.

Two space aliens from the planet Hondo have arrived on Earth. Their own planet has no music and no art, so the two are inspired by what they encounter on our home world. They don their space suits, grab a guitar and banjo, and form a folk music band: Future Folk. General Trius and The Mighty Kevin play songs about adapting to life on Earth or lamenting what they miss from home. Their subject matter is what makes me want to play their music for gamers – it's bluegrass sci-fi played for a smirk. Their songs are usually family-friendly, but in I Can Not Breathe in Your Atmosphere they slip in an f-bomb. In the song, the duo sings about the pleasantries of Earth but temper the good vibes by complaining about their need to keep on their space helmets.

I Can Not Breathe in Your Atmosphere is from their 2012 album, Future Folk, Vol. 1. They also have a feature length film called The History of Future Folk that gives the story for their journey to Earth and first forays into music.

I Can Not Breathe in Your Atmosphere on Google Play

Fanboy

If I ran a game store I would play Fanboy by the great Luke Ski.

My first encounter with Luke Ski was at Gen Con So Cal 2004. He was so good on stage there that I bought many of his CDs that night. Fanboy is one of the standout songs that I remember listening to on the ride home. It's a parody of Kid Rock's Cowboy. Luke Ski sings it like an anthem to fandom. It's a loud, fast hick-hop song, with a sound that really matches the breathless passion fans can achieve. It is a pop culture omnium-gatherum of lyrics. Luke Ski tosses in references to all major geek fandoms at the time – that time being 2002. Surprisingly, even over a decade later, the references really hold up for big time geeks. Star Trek, Star Wars, Futurama, Pokémon, Doctor Who, Sailor Moon, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show are all still part of the collective geek mind as I write this in 2014. Even those that aren't still dynamic properties, they were such tent poles that the older set will still catch all the references.

Fanboy is from the great Luke Ski's 2002 album, Uber Geek. There's also a revised version, titled Fanboy (2010 Edition). The music is updated in this version, but the lyrics stayed the same. I much prefer the older version of the song and if I ran a game store I would play the 2002 version of the song.

Fanboy on Bandcamp

Still a Nerd

If I ran a game store I would play Still a Nerd by Tom Smith.

Still a Nerd is another nerd anthem, like my previous post about Weird Al's White & Nerdy, but this song is softer and gentler. It's closer to the heart of a nerd and does without the juxtaposition of being a hip-hop parody. Musically, Still a Nerd is not an anthem, but lyrically it sure is. Maybe it's better to call it a love letter to nerds but I think it's too unabashed for that label. Still a Nerd is the sort of song that gets into your head as you find a quite spot to read through a D&D module. You could play it while painting minis or while you're at an empty convention table building a Magic deck. It's very much a song cut for playing in a game store.

Still a Nerd is a parody of Jonathon Coulton's Still Alive, which is a song I would play if I ran a video game store. Still Alive was used in the ending credits of the video game Portal. Tom Smith gives credit for his inspiration to Rob Balder – "His Jonathan Coulton parody 'Still Annoyed' made my brain form the phrase 'Still A Nerd'. That's pretty much it." Still a Nerd was released in 2008 on The FuMP.

Still a Nerd on The FuMP