Half as Cool as Han Solo

If I ran a game store I would play the song Half as Cool as Han Solo by Dan Beahm and The Invisible Three.

I remember when I was a child of six years of age and after seeing Star Wars: A New Hope we all wanted to be Luke Skywalker. Since it didn't make sense for us all to be Luke some of us played Wedge and some of us played Porkins and some of us played Han, but Luke was the man to be. Luke was pretty much the cool one until we all got to high school and realized he was the whiny one. At that point all of our perceptions of cool fragmented, with some guys choosing Lando, some choosing Boba Fett, and some choosing Han. I'm pretty sure this debate still occurs among long-time and brand-new fans of the franchise.

Dan Beahm is clearly in the camp of Han Solo being the coolest. He's written and performed the love song Half as Cool as Han Solo, in which he shines a light on Solo's finer moments as deeds with which he, Dan, cannot compete. If he could compete, though, he'd be worthy of the Leia he pursues. Mr. Beahm holds himself to too high a standard. Maybe he's not the fastest at the Kessel Run, but he has put out two albums and directed/produced some movies and I think that's pretty cool.

Half as Cool as Han Solo is a medium tempo rock tune. It was released on Dan Beahm and The Invisible Three's 2003 album, Maybe I'll Fly. That version has the lyrics getting swallowed up by the guitar and sounds very late 1990's coffee shop. The song was performed anew and released on Dan Beahm and the Invisible Three's 2007 album, Amplifier. The versions are very similar, with the production quality being the main difference. If I ran a game store I would play the 2007 version.

Half as Cool as Han Solo on Google Play



Half as Cool as Han Solo lyrics

If I was Han Solo
Then you'd be my Leia
And life would be grand

You'd find me at a bar in Mos Eisley
Wasting a Rodian
With the wave of my hand
But I'll never be
Even half as cool as he
And even if I

Flew the Kessel Run faster than that guy
Then I'd still be parsecs
And parsecs away from cool
And if I was as cool as Han Solo
You'd tell me you love me
And I would say "I know"

Call me a scoundrel
Call me a rebel
Call me your captain
Call me a Nerf Herder
Call me your pilot
Call me your man
But don't call me Han

Freeze me in carbon
Take all my spice
Trade me for copious credits
To a guy who is only one chromosome shy of a slug
And I still wouldn't be half as cool as Han Solo

If I had a wookie
Next to me I'd be
So much more credible
Trying to get you
To put on these edible
Underpants

Cause I'll never be
Even half as cool
I'm always the fool
Wearing the black vest
Looking for Leia
Dreaming of you

If I was Han Solo
You'd tell me you love me
And I would say "I know"

If I was Han Solo
You'd tell me you love me
And I'd just say "I know"