Wannabe a Slayer

If I ran a game store I would play the song Wannabe a Slayer by The Spike Girls.

Buffy was the slayer, but there were plenty of people watching her from their sofas wishing they were slayers too. Wannabe a Slayer is something of an instruction manual for acting like a slayer. In it, the Spike Girls sing about the heart and discipline it takes. They list the assets necessary to prevail over evil, and by their estimation you pretty much need the original crew that surrounded Buffy. Basically, you need to be Buffy and I gaffed it by calling the song an instruction manual. There's only one slayer and it's not you and it's not me, so all we can do is wannabe.

Wannabe a Slayer is a parody of The Spice Girls' song, Wannabe. The band name "Spike Girls" is also a parody of the Spice Girls, with the delightful twist of incorporating the name of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer character. The Spike Girls is actually a vocalist named Chemele paired with the great Luke Ski. Luke Ski wrote the song and realized it needed a female singer so his engineer hired Chemele to do the female lyrics while Luke Ski did the rest.

Wannabe a Slayer is from the great Luke Ski's 2002 album, Uber Geek. He re-released the track on his 2003 album, Greatest Hits Volume 1: 1996​-​2003.

Wannabe a Slayer on Bandcamp



Wannabe a Slayer lyrics

Way down in Sunnydale, shiny, happy Sunnydale
Yeah, down in Sunnydale, spooky, scary Sunnydale
Right at the mouth of Hell things are really not that swell
'Cause there's creatures that impale so if you want to prevail
You gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta
You gotta really really really wanna kill a vampire

If you want a future, learn from the past
Buffy is the chosen one of the Slayer cast
She faces evil like Spike and Dru
But she is the slayer, she knows what to do

So tell me what to hurt, what to really really hurt
I'll tell you what to hurt, what to really really hurt
You gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta
You gotta really really really wanna be a slayer

If you wanna be a slayer, you gotta protect your friends
That's why Willow and Xander haven't met their ends
If you wanna be a slayer, you have got to train
Slayin' ain't too easy, you cannot be too vein

Now what you think about that? Now you know how she feels
Angel is her one true love, their love's for real
She'd be real tasty on Angel's fangs
That's why when they hug he gets those hunger pangs

So tell me who to love, who to really really love
I'll tell you who to love, who to really really love
You gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta
You gotta really really really wanna be just like Buff

If you wanna be a slayer, you gotta get it on the first take
Gotta ask those tripped out vamp boys "How'd you like your stake?"
If you wanna be a slayer, you need a watcher like Giles
His idea of a good time is sorting through his files

Now, here's the story on the gang Scooby
There's Tara and Cordy and also Dawn and Wesley
You got Oz in the place with fuzz all on his face
You got Willow, yes, she's the techno-witch and
Xander, he's in love with Anya, she's a demon lady
And I'm Spike, you'll see me
Looking pretty tough, light up and take a puff
Turn my head and scoff, then tell you to "Sod off"

If you wanna be a slayer, you gotta switch networks fast
Gotta tell those TV suits that quality costs cash
If you wanna be a slayer, you gotta be home by dawn
Don't hog all the glory, have faith and you'll live on

If you wanna be a slayer, you gotta
You gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta
Slam a demon down and stake him to the ground
Slam a demon down and stake him to the ground
Slam a demon down and stake him to the ground
Slam a demon down and you'll save the town

C'mon love, you wanna go out for a bite, with ol' big bad?
Hey, all right, put Mr. Pointy away
Ah, bugger this

If you wanna be a slayer