Dead Nintendo

If I ran a game store I would play the song Dead Nintendo by Possible Oscar.

Once upon a time if your gaming console wasn't working you could kick it to make it work. You could also try cycling the power, reinserting the medium, examining the disc for scratches, or blowing on the cartridge. If those didn't fix it then verbal threats were mandatory. That's the journey that Possible Oscar takes in Dead Nintendo. It's a mournful parody of The Eagles' ballad Desperado, lamenting a design flaw in the Nintendo Entertainment System. The song is about a classic console and so it goes the song is about all of the classic games that can't be played due to the glitch. Dead Nintendo hearkens to the adult and retro gamers who wander the imaginary aisles in my imaginary store.

Dead Nintendo was released on Possible Oscar's 2007 album, The Wrath of Con. They also released a live version around the same time, titled Dead Nintendo - live at MarsCon 2007. It's available on The FuMP and on the compilation CD, The FuMP Volume 2.

Dead Nintendo on Google Play



Dead Nintendo lyrics

Dead Nintendo, why won't you work like you ought to?
There's one reason I bought you, for Mario Bros
Oh, your design flaw
Is that spring-loaded compartment
I blew on the cartridge but the game still won't load

There's no saving Princess Zelda, now
She's captured by King Ganon
You know the Triforce won't be found if you won't start

I can fight the mighty Metroids
Samus' right hand is a cannon
But that power goes to waste if my screen's dark

Dead Nintendo, oh, Castlevania's waiting
I'm hoping and praying this kick does the trick
And Punch Out, oh Punch Out, well I can't wait to be champion
I'll challenge Mike Tyson just as soon as you're fixed

If I find at times that I can't survive
The secret code gives me thirty lives
It's hard to save the world without your help
Your flashing light demands reboot
Do you think those ducks are going to shoot themselves?

Dead Nintendo, why do you choose to forsake me?
You're this close to making me throw you away
I'm fairly angry, so there's just one thing you can do
You better let somebody play you, let somebody play you
You better let somebody play you, before it's trash day