If I ran a game store I would play Skullcrusher Mountain by Jonathan Coulton.
Every evil genius has their hidden lair full of scientific crimes against the animal kingdom and with a private army eager to destroy the world. There are memes built upon memes when it comes to the global supervillain character and their love interest. Jonathan Coulton takes a fresh approach by going inside the villain's brain while taking the target of his affections on a tour of Skullcrusher Mountain and surfacing his insecurities. The song is a folksy rock/country tune sung very mellow. The juxtaposition of singing a song of menace in a calm, easy-to-relate-to tone is a hallmark of Coulton, who uses it in a few of his songs for effect. He sings this one so calm that the word "yet" almost doesn't make it from the lyric sheet to the vocal track, giving the feeling that her expiration might be sooner than the villain can control.
Skullcrusher Mountain was originally written to be included as part of a lecture series in 2003. It wasn't until October 2004 that it was available on an album, Jonathan Coulton's Where Tradition Meets Tomorrow.
Skullcrusher Mountain on Google Play
Skullcrusher Mountain lyrics
Welcome to my secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain
I hope that you've enjoyed your stay so far
I see you've met my assistant Scarface
His appearance is quite disturbing
I assure you he's harmless enough
He's a sweetheart, calls me master
And he has a way of finding pretty things and bringing them to me
Oh, and I'm so into you
But I'm way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I'm crazy
I'm not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn't kill you yet
I made this half-pony, half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don't like it
What's with all the screaming?
You like monkeys, you like ponies
Maybe you don't like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?
Oh, and I'm so into you
But I'm way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I'm crazy
I'm not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn't kill you yet
Picture the two of us alone inside my golden submarine
While up above the waves my doomsday squad ignites the atmosphere
And all the fools who lead their foolish lives may find it quite explosive
Well it won't mean half as much to me if I don't have you here
You know it isn't easy living here on Skullcrusher Mountain
Maybe you could cut me just a little slack
Would it kill you to be civil?
I've been patient, I've been gracious
And this mountain is covered with wolves
Hear them howling, my hungry children
Maybe you should stay and have another drink and think about me and you
Oh, and I'm so into you
But I'm way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I'm crazy
I'm not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn't kill you yet
I shouldn't kill you yet
I shouldn't kill you yet
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