"Pencil neck geek" was the nickname that old time pro wrestler "Classy" Freddie Blassie festooned upon his opponents. The song was drafted by some musician friends who coerced him into a recording booth and told him he didn't have to sing, that he could just speak the lines. The result is the classic Pencil Neck Geek, released in 1976 and made famous by play on the Dr. Demento show. In the song, Blassie paints a picture of a town plagued by geeks that seem to multiply without reason and bring ill fate wherever they roam. He uses the plague as an excuse to hurl two fistfuls of insults at geeks everywhere. The song is novelty from beginning to end based upon the language, the subject, the singing style, and the instrumentation (wrestling manager Johnny Legend plays the harmonica on it!). It plays a little like a country or folksy ballad. As the title of "geek" was transferred from actual geeks to those who can pass as normal and eventually to those who can pass as cool the word as an insult has been lost. The word "geek" has been empowered now, which makes Blassie's use so much the better. The nice thing about gamers is that there is a cultural memory of the word as a weapon and Pencil Neck Geek is a fun reminder of where the word started.
Pencil Neck Geek was released on an a 7" vinyl album in 1976, titled Nothin' But a Pencil Neck Geek. The A-side has both No Bout Adoubt It and Blassie, King of Men and the B-side has both U.S. Male and Pencil Neck Geek. The song was included on a 1983 album entitled I Bite the Songs, and has been included on Dr. Demento compilation albums.
Pencil Neck Geek lyrics
Back when I was a kid, life was going swell
'Til something happened, blew everything to hell
That night my daddy stumbled in, all pale and weak,
Said, "A woman up the block just gave birth to a geek"
Mom said, "Sell it to the circus, what the heck?"
Dad said, "Nope, this one's a pencil neck
And if there's one thing lower than a side show freak,
It's a grit eatin', scum suckin', pencil neck geek"
You see if you take a pencil that won't hold lead
Looks like a pipe cleaner attached to a head
Add a buggy whip body with a brain that leaks
You got yourself a grit eatin', pencil neck geek
Pencil neck geek, grit eatin' freak
Scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique
He's a one man, no good, losing streak
Nothin' but a pencil neck geek
Soon the geeks were poppin' up all over town
You couldn't hardly sneeze without knockin' one down
After a nice juicy steak, if you need a toothpick
Just reach for a geek, they'll do the trick
One day we cut one up for fish bait
Learned our lesson just a little bit late
Soon as the geek hit the drink, the water turned red
Next day, sure enough, all the fish were dead
Pencil neck geek, grit eatin' freak
Scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique
He's a one man, no good, losing streak
Nothin' but a pencil neck geek
Most any night you know where I can be found
Yeah, stomping some geek's head into the ground
So keep the faith 'cause in Blassie you can trust
I won't give up 'til the last geek bites the dust
Pencil neck geek, grit eatin' freak
Scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique
He's a one man, no good, losing streak
Nothin' but a pencil neck geek
They say, "these geeks come a dime a dozen"
I'm lookin' for the guy who's suppylin' the dimes
It's gonna be real hard times for all of these
Grit eatin'
Scum suckin'
Boot lickin'
Drop kickin'
Gut grindin'
Nail bitin'
Glue sniffin'
Scab pickin'
Butt scratchin'
Egg hatchin'
Sleezy
Smelly
Pepper bellied
Dirty
Lousy
Rotten
Stinkin' freaks
Nothing but a pencil neck geek
Pencil neck geek
Pencil neck geek
Pencil neck geek
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