You're Homely But I'll Sleep With You

If I ran a game store I might play the song You're Homely But I'll Sleep With You by Moneyshot Cosmonauts, it's iffy.

Everybody has their secrets. Some of us watch taboo anime, some of us use cosplay inappropriately, some of us use our beards to conceal weird things on our faces, and some of us aren't too proud to take home a bottom-feeder. It's this last group that Moneyshot Cosmonauts focuses on in You're Homely But I'll Sleep With You. Their parody of the oldie I Only Want to Be with You by Dusty Springfield (and covered many times since) follows a woman who's far from home, looking for some action in a bar full of losers. It's an internal dialogue showing her willpower weaken as she takes drink after drink.

The Moneyshot Cosmonauts aren't a band in the normal sense. They're M. Spaff Sumsion and whoever he can find to assist when the inspiration to record strikes him. Each song of theirs will have a different listing of band members. For You're Homely But I'll Sleep With You it's Cari Golden on lead and backing vocals, Bob Emmet on backing vocals and all of the instruments, and M. Spaff Sumsion on lyrics. They released the song on The FuMP in 2010 and it was released on The FuMP Volume 20 a couple of months later.

Gamers have the enduring reputation of being homely, weird, smelly nerds. I've spent enough time gaming in game stores and at conventions to know that this reputation should have expired, but hasn't. We're a diverse lot and I think that diversity lends us a collective sense of humor about homeliness, weirdos, and nerd life. Therefore I also think we can take a song like You're Homely But I'll Sleep With You and get a laugh out of it and not think it's aimed at us, because it isn't. But it also kind of is. We count the homely, weird, and smelly nerds among our numbers and there's a good chance we've all dealt with considering ourselves to be one - it's like a group identity thing. Okay, this is getting away from me. What I'm trying to say is this song isn't about gaming or pop culture so it doesn't properly belong on this list, but I think it'll play well to gamers because reasons, therefore it's iffy as to whether or not I'd play it in my store. Was that so hard to say, Roy, really?

You're Homely But I'll Sleep With You on Google Play





You're Homely But I'll Sleep With You lyrics

Tequila
Give me a shot

I didn't realize how dead this club would be
I don't make frequent trips out here to B.F.E.
But you found my weakness
Drinks for free
I hope nobody sees you leave this place with me
It's shameless but it's true
You're homely but I'll sleep with you

I live for truth and beauty but there's room for change
I'm faithful to myself but I could use some strange
And strange is precisely
The term for you
You'll be a two at ten but you're a ten at two
Congratulations, dude
You're homely but I'll sleep with you

You claim you stole my heart
There's a crime but it isn't theft
I guess tonight you're Mister Right
'Cause everyone else has Left

I swear that I have
Never been a sellout for an easy score
Unless you count last weekend or the week before
I don't want beer goggles
Those still see
Instead I need a full tequilabotomy
And you should get one too
You're homely but I'll sleep with you

Is beauty just skin deep?
Well, your skin destroys that myth
How much Patron makes me think you're hot?
I'll have to plead the fifth

And now I finally
Understand why hookups all occur at night
It's easier to find a place devoid of light
Don't take it personal
When I ask
Would you please put on this Freddy Krueger mask?
It helps improve my view
You're homely but I'll sleep with you

F-U-fugly-G-L-fugly-Y
F-U-fugly-G-fugly oh my
F-U-fugly-G-L-fugly-Y
F-U-fugly-G-fugly oh my