If I ran a game store I would play the song Suds Me Up, Sulu by Warp 11.
There are very few homoerotic bath-side rock ballads suitable for playing in a game store, but Suds Me Up, Sulu is one of them. In it, Warp 11 plays their guitars gingerly trying to lure Star Trek's Mr. Sulu into a naughty bathtub encounter. The song is played for laughs with lyrics full of filthy puns. You can almost hear George Takei ejaculating his catchphrase "Oh my!" Don't worry, the song doesn't run into foul language. This one is sure to get laughter and groans from patrons in my fictional game store.
Suds Me Up, Sulu is from Warp 11's 2002 album, Red Alert.
Suds Me Up, Sulu on CDBaby
Suds My Up, Sulu lyrics
Bathtub's the bridge
And you've got the helm
Hot water burnin', burnin'
Overwhelms
And you've got control of the shower head
So, lather me, lather me up, baby
Warp speed ahead
Come on and suds, suds, suds me up Sulu
Come on and suds, suds, suds me up Sulu
I feel so dirty
Covered in grunge
Go get the captain's toupee
I need a sponge
'Cause you've had a long day now
And I smell your rank
So lets scrub ourselves Spic and Span, baby
Give each other a spank
Come on and suds, suds, suds me up Sulu
No one else on this filthy ship
Can stay on course like you do
Come on and suds, suds, suds me up Sulu
No one else can navigate a wormhole
As clean as you do
Start at my head
Move to my feet
You can be the admiral, baby
And I'll be your fleet
Rinse and repeat
Rinse and repeat
Rinse and repeat
Rinse and repeat
Rinse and repeat
Rinse and repeat
Rinse and repeat
Rinse and repeat
Rinse and repeat
Rinse and repeat
Rinse and repeat
Rinse and repeat
Rinse and repeat
Rinse and repeat
Come on and suds, suds, suds me up Sulu
No one else on this filthy ship
Can stay on course like you do
Come on and suds, suds, suds me up Sulu
No one else can navigate a wormhole
As clean as you do
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